Right Time, Right Place, Wrong Number
by AManwithaB0x
Summary: Modern-AU. High-school student Weiss recieves a text and photo from an unknown blonde girl... and the game begins! Rated M for suggestive themes and a perverted Weiss Schnee (among other things). Freezerburn with a bit of Ladybug.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I wrote this on a caffeine buzz…**

* * *

… …

… … … …

Before I say anything else, I need you to understand one thing: I have a _reputation_ to keep.

By that, I mean I am a Schnee. A Schnee is expected to act with a certain level of decorum in public. A Schnee is expected to get perfect grades on all report cards. And a Schnee is never, _never_ to be seen engaged in debauchery.

For the vocabulary challenged in the audience, that means I'm not allowed to be a pervert. Even more so because I'm a girl. Excuse me, a _woman._

And to that I say: _Pbtbtbtbtbt…!_ Why do you think God invented closets? They store clothes and allow perverts to be …perverted in peace.

Wow, I went off on a tangent, didn't I?

I suppose I should introduce myself now. My name is Weiss Schnee. To pronounce that, just say the word 'wise' but use an 's' sound instead of the 'z' sound. Don't worry about the last name, no one gets it right anyway. As far as I know it's a German name, but I've never bothered to look up my family history. That's what grandpas are for.

The other girl-slash-closet-pervert you need to know is a friend of mine called Blake. She's an interesting one, as she is the _only_ girl I've ever met who wasn't fooled by my 'princess' act. At all. She saw right through me. Admittedly she saw past my belt line and spotted my leopard-print G-string, but that's another story… *ahem*

Okay, focus. Story.

I bring up Blake because the two of us just happen to have similar phone numbers. Like, almost _exactly the same_ similar. As such, we each get a lot of wrong numbers that were meant for the other. I'm telling you this because it's an important thing to keep in mind for when I talk about…

Well, I'm getting to that.

Okay, so I'm at home one night. It's close to Christmas, so I'm wrapping up all of my holiday homework (because I _can! Fight me!)_ when I get a buzz on my phone. A few seconds later, another. When I check, I see a photo and a short 'Merry Christmas' message waiting for me. I don't bother looking at the number, because hey, who else but my best friend would send me a photo over text?

But then I open the photo… and dem titties do _not_ belong to Blake. Mein _Gott…!_

Other than the obvious cleavage with the most perfect pair of double-Ds I've ever seen in my goddamn _life,_ the next thing I noticed was the girl's hair. Hard not to, as it looked like it was glowing. It was easily the brightest blonde hair I'd ever laid eyes on, and I've seen a lot. Then I noticed her eyes, like two sparking amethysts. Gorgeous. Her lips looked like they were filled with crème… and yes, I _did_ want to bite them and find out if they were.

In case you couldn't tell by now, I was pretty much in love at first sight… and I didn't have the _slightest clue_ who this girl was. The number shown was local, but not one I had stored in my phone.

And yet… as much as I wanted to know who she was… another idea came first.

Before too much time could pass, I darted into the bathroom and …I hesitate to call it 'pretty-ing up' but that's basically what I did. Fix the hair, wipe the grease off my forehead (stupid acne), and practice my flirty face. I then ran back out, grabbed my phone, and took a selfie in as close to her original pose as I could pull off before sending it back via the 'reply' button. I chased that with a simple 'Merry Christmas to you, too' message and waited.

I know what you're thinking, wow Weiss is such a _girl._

And to that I say: see the first paragraph.

As a Schnee, I have never in my life taken a selfie. Nor have I ever responded to a wrong number with anything more than a 'sorry wrong number that's what contact lists are for dumbass' reply.

But dem titties… *drool*

…

*ahem* Sorry, where was I? Oh, yes…

It didn't take long after I sent my reply before the mystery blonde sent her own: 'Oh God, I'm so sorry. That was meant for someone else."

Of _course_ it was. I'd never seen you (or your tits) before in my life, so how could you have meant it for me? It was a bit disappointing, but thems the brakes. Biting back the reply I _wanted_ to send _(SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS!)_ , I instead sent back a polite, 'No worries. Have a nice weekend.'

I also went ahead and saved the photo she sent. I tried not to stare at it too long, though… if I did, I wouldn't stop until my pants were off and the floor was wet. I wouldn't even make it to the bathroom.

But then a sobering thought hit me – she must have been sending that picture to Blake. I _do_ get things meant for her quite often, remember? Did that mean she was Blake's friend? Or maybe… her girlfriend?

Now _that_ was a disappointing thought. Blake and I had made a pact almost two years ago that if both of us graduate high school without any love interests (male _or_ female), we would officially move into the 'friends with benefits' category.

And yes, I was fine with that. Blake doesn't have much in the way of jugs, but she's got some serious junk in her trunk, god- _damn._

Oh look… another tangent.

I blame the Mountain Dew. Too much caffeine after 7.

*deep breath*

After making myself depressed, yet another message came in that made me spit my drink out: 'Actually, you're kinda cute. Are you into girls by any chance?'

Wat.

More wat.

All of my wat.

Does a bear shit in the woods? Is the Pope catholic? Is the sky blue? Is a blue bear the Pope that takes a catholic shit in the sky?

… … …Excuse me… I have to go dunk my head in the toilet.

…

That was more… refreshing than I dare admit.

Okay, so after nearly shattering the windows with my gay squealing, I took a deep breath and gave a one-word reply: 'Maybe…'

Try to keep in mind that this is totally normal for the 'real' me, but unthinkable to the 'princess' me. Anyone other than Blake who might find out about this would have me disowned from the family faster than… than… ugh, I suck at analogies. Just _fast,_ alright?

Blondie: 'Um… Can I ask what you're name is?'

Me: '…"Your"…'

Blondie: 'Your name is 'your'…?'

Me: 'Do you even English?'

Blondie: '…'

I giggled as I pictured that gorgeous face twisted into a confused expression. God… I _really_ wanted to know what she tasted like right then… Come to the Pervert Side, Weiss, we have cookies!

Blondie: 'Oh. That was the autocorrect. Hilarious'

Me: 'Why, thank you! :)'

Nothing else came for several minutes as the carbonation from my drink fizzled away. I must have stared at that screen for _hours_ waiting on her to ask something else, but when I looked up only 2 minutes had passed. Stupid time vortex.

Desperate, I sent out the lure: 'What city do you live in? Your number looks local…'

Sure enough, she was local. And no, I'm not telling _you_ people where I live. You think I _want_ a bunch of nerds stalking me everywhere I go? Forget that.

…Ever seen the cartoon of the Grinch? You know, that whole 'stealing Christmas' thing? Well, imagine that wicked grin coming over my face and you'll have an idea of what I looked like as a fantastically evil plan began to form.

At least, I thought it was good at the time. Looking back, I may have overdone it. A bit.

Here is the message I sent, verbatim:

'I wanna play a game. _  
_Tomorrow night, I will go to a movie at the Jones Plaza Cinemas. _  
_If you can find me there, using only the clues in your possession, I will answer any questions you may have, including my name. _  
_If you cannot find me… _  
_…Well, you will just have to find me, won't you?'

For those not paying attention, I sent her a photo of me. That's all she had to work with. I also didn't say _which_ movie I was going to. Can't make it _too easy,_ right?

After I hit 'send' I just sat there, re-reading that message over and over. Did I really just do that? I almost felt like Moriarty sending Sherlock Holmes a challenge…

My phone binged with one last message for the night: 'You're on.'

A wave of goosebumps traveled down my arms and legs as I read that. Ooh… this might be more fun than I thought…

I tried calling Blake right after that, but she didn't pick up. Nor did she answer the text I shot her instead. Odd, that. Usually she's quick to pick up the conversations that involve discussing cup sizes.

But I dismissed it as inconsequential. For those of you reading this who are vocabulary challenged, I decided it wasn't important enough to think about. Instead I took the phone with me into the bathroom and…

Well, I'll just leave that to your imagination.

… … … …

… …

* * *

 **Author's Note: Welcome to the first part of my two-shot contribution to the Freezerburn fandom!**

 **A few things to note – as I'm sure you noticed, this is a modern-AU… this means that characters are going to act a bit OOC. If you don't like it, tough. My story, my rules. It's also rated M because of Weiss being a big ol' pervert. Yang will be a little better next chapter, but not much.**

 **If you would be so kind, please drop a review. I would love to know how you guys like the first-person POV. I've tried it once before and enjoyed it, so I figured… why not try it here?**


	2. Chapter 2

**The next day…**

… …

… … … …

If you think I've been acting funny lately, just be aware that I usually have a reputation to keep.

I am supposed to be the life of the party. I am the loud one, the joker, the biggest presence in the room. That's much of the reason I've let my hair grow to biblical proportions – you think I _like_ sitting in the shower for a solid hour? Or buying shampoo by the freaking g _allon?_

All in all, I've gotten pretty good at the whole _look-at-me-ain't-I-a-big-shot_ routine. So much so that if anyone other than my sis saw me acting the way I was in the theater that day, they would think I was a strange, alien clone.

Oh, almost forgot. I'm Yang. Yang Xiao Long. I know that sounds Chinese and everything, but just call me Yang. Like the yin-yang thing. And no, I don't have a twin brother called Yin… although that would be awesome.

Instead I have a little sister called Ruby (she's a freshman, btw). And depending on how this whole _search-the-theater-for-a-mystery-beauty thing_ went, I might _NOT_ have a sister by the end of the night. That little butt-sniffer might just… disappear.

Because this whole thing is kinda her fault.

Allow me to explain. Last night I sent a selfie to this chick called Blake… at least, I _thought_ I did. I'd just met her that morning at the library ( _not_ a normal hangout spot for me, I was getting a few books for homework), and she gave me her number. Strange thing is, I was _sure_ I put it in my phone right… Unless she gave me the wrong number …intentionally? She didn't _seem_ like the scheming type…

But I'm getting distracted. Point is, Blake is not the one who answered. Instead I get a pic of this… this… absolutely _perfect_ girl. I honestly thought Blake was hot, but this one… wow. That's all I can say. Just, …wow.

Back to Ruby. Once I apologized for the wrong number snafu, I stupidly walked away to double-check the number Blake gave me. Leaving my phone unguarded. With Ruby in the room. And she knew what was going on (because I was _not_ quiet when I saw that girl's photo, hot _damn)._

By the time I came back, she'd sent a rather… saucy reply.

Needless to say, she's _still_ stuffed under the couch cushions. I felt her wiggling this morning. Twerp.

And there was no taking it back, either. Once the conversation started, all I could do was try and keep up. When she presented that challenge, I was ready to toss my phone away and forget the whole thing.

Yet something in the _tone_ of that challenge lit a fire in me. I couldn't just walk away from something like that and keep my dignity. So yeah, I accepted.

No one challenges the mighty Yang Xiao Long.

…

Once at the theater, however, I quickly regretted my words.

With next to nothing to work with, my first idea was to arrive early. Just in case she was going for a matinee showing. All I had was her picture, so I knew her hair would give her away (it almost looked white in her pic). Unless she decided to wear a hat and hide it…

Lo and behold, it was a cold day today. Freaking _everyone_ wore a hat but me.

Dammit! Ten minutes in and I'd already lost my edge.

If this girl was really as scheming as she seemed so far, it wouldn't have surprised me to find that she _expected_ me to show up early and just _watch everybody_ for seven to eight hours before giving up.

Well… she was soon to learn who she was dealing with. No one slips past Yang.

…

Eight hours later, I was ready to change my tune. I was exhausted.

Why did so many people in this damn town have to go to the theater at the same time?!

Hungry again, I went up to the snack counter and got another thing of popcorn. Nora, one of my friends from school, was working the counter and had been keeping me fed for the day so far. Still, this was becoming an expensive day.

"Still a no-show, huh?" the hyperactive girl chirped as she handed me my third small bag of the day.

"Nope," I replied simply. My brain was worn out from people-watching, so simple replies were all I could muster.

"Well don't sweat it… most of the people arrive for later shows. If she's coming, that's the prime time to search. Unless she's already been here and gone…"

"Better not…" I muttered as I stuffed the junk food into my face.

Thinking back to Blake, I remembered how that booty swayed as she walked. Almost like it was … _calling_ me. The girl seemed like some sort of sex demon… a suckyou… succu-… whatever those things are called. Suck-your-bus? I dunno…

Point is, she was _hot._

The girl in that picture, though… she was _beautiful._

And yes, there is a difference.

I wanted to run my fingers through that hair, gaze into those heavenly eyes, and do various other, not-safe-for-work things to those lovely pink lips. I knew right away I had it bad for this chick. Ruby knew it, too. That kid is far too smart for her own good when it comes to things like this.

I made a mental note to kick her butt one more time when I got home. For good measure.

As I emptied the bag into my mouth, I suddenly felt… like I was being watched. Like someone was staring at me. It was a feeling I knew well, having a figure that most grown women envied… but I couldn't tell where it was coming from. I didn't see anyone locking eyes on me.

The feeling faded as I searched. Whoever it was must have given up.

Overall I never mind it when someone stares… as long as it's not a guy. Yuck.

In case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm about as gay as they come. And I've never tried to hide it, either. I know the technical term is 'lesbian' but I prefer gay. It's shorter. Also easier to insert into jokes.

Most of the girls at my school know me quite well. I know most of them, too. There's Nora, of course… but there's also Ilia, Coco, Velvet and May. A few others are trying to get my attention, but those five are my closest friends. As you might guess, Coco has a chocolatey aftertaste.

And yes, you know what I mean.

Oh look… distracted again.

Anyway, almost two hours go by after feeling someone's eyes on me when Ruby shoots me a text:

Ruby: 'Any luck yet?'

Me: 'No'

Ruby: 'She probably went home already. Did you try and text her?'

Me: 'Thats not how this works. I search until I win.'

Ruby: 'Or lose.'

Me: 'If I lose… … … YOU LOSE.'

Ruby: :(

Ten minutes later, she sent another text:

Ruby: 'Were there any other clues in her pic you could use? She DID say "the clues you have" right?'

I hadn't thought of that. Quickly shifting apps on my phone, I brought up the photo I had saved (because of course I saved it) and looked harder.

Just behind that girl's head was a movie poster. I don't know how I didn't notice it before (yeah right).

Moving fast, I found the movie times in the lobby. That same movie was still playing, but the last showing was… _already over?!_

No… it was just getting out. About three minutes ago.

That means… _shit!_

Now in full-panic mode, I darted over to the exit doors and looked as hard as I've ever looked. I was ready to summon some form of x-ray vision to find her. I just _knew_ she was ready to walk out…

A flash of silvery-white hair. _There!_

The gods were feeling generous, as suddenly I had a clear path to the door. And I used it. I don't think I've ever run that fast before. Coach Oobleck would have been proud of my time if I had done that on the track.

I reached the doors mere _seconds_ before she did, blocking them with my body. Breathing hard, I examined my quarry.

That pretty white hair was left loose, but a light blue knit cap covered most of it. There was no hiding those lovely blue gemstones she called eyes, though.

"It seems you found me… and just in time," she mused. Her voice was just as lovely as I imagined. Was she some kind of singer?

She had promised to answer any question I had if I found her.

Now that we were here, my brain _exploded_ with questions. None of them could fit out my mouth before another one drug it back in and started beating the tar out of it. My mind was having a mini-rebellion.

Still breathing hard, I managed to wheeze out one word: "…Name?"

The mystery girl giggled, and all of heaven laughed along with her. The lights from the parking lot glittering through the windows took on an ethereal shine. I could have sworn I saw fairies dancing around.

"Weiss," she said.

To say that I was ready to tattoo that name across my freaking _forehead_ would not have been an exaggeration.

"Yang," I barely managed to reply.

I'll wrap up this part of the story by simply saying that the two of us went out to my car (I'm old enough to drive, thank you very much) and…

Let's just say we …tested the suspension. A lot.

The windows also got rather fogged up. I don't know why…

… …

… … … …

… …

That's not all that happened, though. I should probably add in what we found once we got home.

After me and Weiss finally pried ourselves apart (and replaced our clothes), I brought her home with me. For reasons.

Okay, it's because we weren't finished. There, I said it. Happy?

Once we got _into_ the house, however…

"Eep! Yang…! You're… you're back!" Ruby suddenly squawked from behind the couch, her face a deep red. I should add that it was almost 3:00 AM when we walked in. And she was in her underwear.

I was ready to reply when another voice came from the same space, this one low and purring, "Took you guys long enough…"

Blake sat up from underneath Ruby, without underwear. Or blush. The only red on the brunette was from the numerous hickeys on her face and neck.

I slowly turned to Weiss, who had a look of shock on her face. I was sure my own face was the same.

Blake grinned, slowly licked her lips and said in a heavy voice, "…Care to join us?"

… … … …

… …

* * *

 **Author's Note: Wow… I guess everybody's a pervert in this one. While fun, I didn't plan on continuing with this story. I only meant it to be a fun little sexy romp. And a bit more practice with the first-person POV. Let me know what you think with a review, if you're so inclined.**

 **=OwO=**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: All I can say is… … … you people asked for it.**

* * *

… …

… … … …

Okay, sooooo… I guess I have to tell my part of the story, don't I? Crud… Yang, if you ever read this, please don't kill me.

So yeah, I'm Ruby. Guess you already know Yang, huh? Well, she's my big sister, so I have to do little sister stuff to, you know, keep her on her toes… heh, heh… SeriouslyYangpleasedon'tkillme…

Anywho, Imma start by backing up a few days. See, me and Yang had to go to the library which is, like, the one place she hates going but she kinda _has_ to go cuz of schoolwork and stuff. I love it – nothing beats the smell of old books. Seriously, if you haven't just… opened up a book and taken a sniff… you've missed out. It definitely gets _me_ high… hahh… … …

*ahem*

So yeah, library, school stuff. All of a sudden I see this… freakin' _hot_ brunette checking out Yang from about 20 feet away. Being the good little sister that I totally am, I marched right over and demanded an explanation (a.k.a. timidly asked why she was being a creep while awkwardly bopping my fingers together).

While I won't bore you with our exact conversation (since I don't remember it all), I can say that her actual reason for checking out my sister's bodacious body was not what I expected – she was considering playing matchmaker between Yang and a friend of hers.

And then she turned those lovely yellow eyes on me. And I saw something …gleam in them when she did.

Is it weird that I got goosebumps at that moment? Cuz I seriously got the goosebumps.

Especially when she brushed my cheek with her fingers and asked if I could help her out. Whoooo… goosebump overload.

So long story short (I think?), I introduced Yang to Blake and stood back while the latter gave the former 'her' phone number (wink wink). And since I know Yang, I knew that said number would very much be used before the night was out.

While Yang wasn't looking, Blake gave me her _real_ number (making sure I knew the difference) and asked me to keep her updated on what happened. Since I was in on the gag, I had no reason to refuse.

Just as Blake turned to leave, she gave me an evil wink… and licked her lips slowly, like she was getting ready to devour something delicious. Thankfully she left the building then – otherwise the two of us might have started making a bit too much noise, I think.

For some reason, thinking about Blake turns my thoughts into NSFW territory really fast. Odd.

…

Before I tell you my side of the whole 'wrong number' scenario, I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. Yang probably told you a bit, but I am a freshman and doing quite well for myself. Grades are good, teachers are happy, friends are annoyed… all is well.

Unlike Yang, however, I am not… "gay." Honestly I don't know what I qualify as, since I don't even know what I'm attracted to. The feelings that I got when Blake gave me the hungry eyes were not new – I've felt that way around both guys and girls in equal measure. Hell, even my freakin' _dog_ makes me feel weird sometimes.

And before you get the wrong idea, only _one_ thing EVER happened between me and Zwei… but that was back when I was freakin' _seven…_ and it involved peanut butter…

OhgoddammitshutupRubyANYWAY.

That being said, I have a few friends, my sister and my dog. That about sums up my life.

… … …I swear to God, the first person to mention peanut butter in the comments gets shot in the face with a bazooka. Try me.

…

As I was saying, that evening Yang prettied herself up and took a selfie to send to Blake. She seemed happy enough, but I had to step out before I spoiled everything. This was gonna be good. I stepped into the kitchen to get a drink, but almost spat it out when I heard this coming from the living room, in a loud and surprised voice:

" _Holy Mother Fart-nuggets!"_

Okay, correction: I didn't 'almost' spit it out, I shot it out of my nose and across the room. It took me an hour to clean it all up that night.

Yang is not known for her expansive vocabulary.

After recovering, I returned to the living room to see the picture of the girl at the other end of the line – and she _was_ a cutie, that was for sure. Didn't do anything for me, though. Considering how much Yang was blushing as she typed a rapid defense, it was pretty clear _she_ liked what she saw. Seems Blake was onto something.

Since Yang was upset about possibly entering the number wrong, she set her phone down to go find that little piece of paper… and just walked away. With little old _me_ standing right there.

What were you thinking, sis?

Like I said before, I am a good little sister. I watch out for my big sister, just like she watches out for me. If I'm in trouble, she comes to my rescue (unless she _is_ the trouble), and if she's in a pinch, I'm there for her. Clearly this was a job for the good little sister that was me.

It didn't take me long to type up a good reply to the white-haired girl, but that was all the farther I got. I'm not too sure what happened after that, but I remember a lot of pain, growling, and then being stuffed into a cramped, dark space for about an hour with Yang sitting on me. Gee sis, what'd I do? :3

Luckily I still had my phone with me. And I could still use it down there.

Me: 'Blake? You there?'

Blake: 'Right here.'

Me: 'First contact has been established.'

Blake: 'Perfect. Did she take the bait?'

Me: 'So far, so good… but I had to help a bit.'

Blake: 'Aww, that's sweet.'

Me: 'And now I'm stuffed in the couch.' :(

The next reply didn't show up for about 10 minutes, but then it finally did.

Blake: 'Sorry… that was too funny.'

Me: 'You laughed at me, didn't you?' :'(

Blake: 'No, I laughed WITH you.'

Me: '… … …'

Blake: 'Keep me posted, Ruby.'

Me: 'Sure will.'

I didn't dare bring up the subject of my imprisonment again that night, but I _did_ sneak a peek at Yang's phone after she fell asleep. That was how I knew what she had agreed to. Updating Blake on the scheme took a few more minutes, but she seemed pleased by the progress.

After that I had to clean up the milk I shot out of my nose. Everyone else was in bed, so I had to be quiet.

Freakin' Blake didn't help when she sent me a picture of her… her… very _nice_ cleavage. And almost nothing else. The edges of a lacy black bra were visible, but other than that it was just… … … boobs.

Is it weird that I drooled a little bit when I saw that? Cuz I totally drooled.

In response I sent a simple emoji: O_O

She didn't send anything else, so I just went to bed. Confused. And a little bit horny. I fell asleep staring at that photo. Of boobs.

Oh forGodssake _shutupRuby._

…

And then the next day came.

Yang set off to… pretty much spend the entire day watching and waiting for her mystery princess to show herself. Her words, not mine.

Blake, however, wanted to come over to our place. And I, being the innocent, trusting, _naïve_ little girl, allowed her to do just that. I gave her directions and she was in my living room within half an hour.

Mostly we talked about Yang. At least, _I_ did. She talked about Weiss, the girl in Yang's photo. With what she knew of the girl, Blake was quite confident she had matched up a perfect pair with the two of them.

But then she slid over next to me on the couch… _right_ next to me… up against me… not being even the slightest bit shy… wearing short-shorts… and did I mention how smooth her legs were? She must have shaved 'em that morning… _Grrgh._

Sorry, my brain just farted. Good memories.

Well, after several hours of no reports, I decided to see what was up. Yang already gave you guys the play-by-play of that conversation, so I won't repeat it here. Instead, I'll just tell you guys what happened after I put my phone down.

At least, I'll _try_ to tell you. My brain has a hard time recalling certain details without farting. And yes, my brain farts a lot. I can't help it, okay?!

Anywho, after putting my phone down I suggested we watch a movie or something while we wait. Blake nods, finds a DVD (we're kinda old school), then… then… then… gets on all fours to put it in the DVD player.

Short-shorts… that glorious _ass… Grrgh._

Sorry. After giving me a show for a minute or two, she then… she… she slowly backed that ass up and _sat it down in my freakin' lap._ Those cheeks… that softness… like a big marshmallow… … oh… my… _Grrgh. Grrgle. Guuh._

I think I passed out then (like I almost did just now), because the next thing I knew Blake was on the couch next to me, like a normal person, and the movie was half-over. I don't even know what we were watching, but Blake was just staring at me and grinning. Like she'd just won something.

"Normally this is the part where I'd ask if you were into girls," she said in a low, sultry voice, "but I don't think that's necessary. Not with a reaction like that."

My mouth was suddenly very, very dry.

Blake sought to fix that by using her tongue.

Now, here's the thing – If I continue the story, Yang will murder someone when she reads it. She'll either kill _me_ for writing it, _Blake_ for seducing me, or _you guys_ for reading it. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind putting it out there, it's just… I dunno.

Tell ya what, I'll summarize the rest.

In short, me and Blake got down and dirty right there on the couch. She led, obviously, since I'm just the kid. Still, it was an… enlightening experience. Btw, I now consider myself bisexual.

Why? Because there's this guy I know called Jaune…

Dammit, that's another story. Focus, Ruby!

We must have been at it for a long time, because suddenly Yang and Weiss came in… together… around 3 am. And I wasn't even tired. Or fully dressed. But neither was Blake, so it wasn't _that…_ bad… … … right?

And then Blake had the nerve to ask the two of them to … _join_ us. I don't know if she forgot that Yang was my sister… … … or if she _didn't_ forget. *shudder*

… … …You know what? I take one thing back.

Dad, if YOU ever read this, _please don't kill me or Yang. We're just horny teenagers who don't know what we're doing, I swear!_

… … … …

… …

* * *

 **A/N: And since I did a Ruby chapter, that means I have to end it with a Blake chapter, don't I? Yep… and that** _ **will**_ **end it. Seriously, don't go commenting how you 'can't wait til I get another one up.' One more is** _ **it.**_

 **=O_O=**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Blake goes into more detail than the others. Reader discretion is strongly advised.**

* * *

… …

… … … …

My mother was a stripper.

Yeah, I thought that might get your attention.

Kali Belladonna, known by her stage name 'Bellabooty,' currently holds several records at Club Menagerie, the 'nicest' strip club in the city… a title that doesn't mean much, to be honest. It's a nice enough place to work, but… well, Mom never complained, anyway. She holds the record for things like Most Requested Lapdancer, Most Tips in One Night, and Longest 5-Star Review Streak.

In case the stage name didn't give it away, Mom's most valuable asset was, naturally, her ass. And I can proudly say that I inherited her ass for myself. When she retired, all her co-workers signed her ass and took a photo of it.

Oh yeah… I'm Blake, by the way. Almost forgot.

According to Mom, my father was nothing more than a one-night customer who paid a hefty bonus for Mom's company overnight – nine months later, I was born. Cue fanfare. She never even bothered to ask for his name.

That being said, I pretty much grew up watching Mom and the other girls work every night (she could never find a babysitter, so she just brought me along). I don't think it affected me too much. At least, I _didn't…_ until I got to school for the first time.

Boy was I wrong.

All I'm gonna say about my early years is that the principal had no sense of humor when I was in third grade. Neither did the teacher. The other kids thought it was funny when the teacher found that 12-inch black dildo in her desk drawer, but I still got suspended over it. Such a kill-joy.

Oh wait… you're here to hear about how I banged Ruby, right? Sorry.

First I should tell you about me and Weiss. I think she mentioned it, but I first noticed her thong… and it was love at first sight.

Kidding. We just hit it off really quickly. Never expected to find a fellow pervert in a public school, of all places.

I won't waste too much of your time here, but I will mention one event that occurred in our freshman year. Normally when we hang out, I either sit in Weiss' lap (at her request) or drape myself _over_ her lap. As I said, I am very proud of my bellabooty and I never had an issue with showing it off. On this particular night she actually asked me if I could take my pants off… and I did, albeit with more embarrassment than I'd felt before. I'd honestly never been asked anything like that. Weiss spent the rest of the evening giving my ass a lovely massage. I told her afterwards that she should seriously consider taking some massage therapy classes in the future, cuz her hands were _magic._

Okay, I'd better stop there. Just thinking about that night again is turning me on.

*Ahem*

Now I'm gonna be blunt here… I consider Weiss about a 5. She's cute and all, but… nah. When we made that agreement to become 'friends with benefits' if neither of us found a lover before graduation, I considered it a challenge. I was determined to find someone, either for me, or her. At least, I _think_ that was the agreement… I forget the details.

Who would have imagined I'd find both in the same day?

…

Having gotten to know all about Weiss' tastes over the years, I instantly knew that the smoking hot blonde in the library would be perfect for her. More than perfect. For Weiss, the boobs were everything – and blondie over here was fully loaded. The ass wasn't bad, either… but it was no bellabooty. Still, she struck a really good balance overall. Once I saw her face, I no longer had any doubt. I knew Weiss would want to chew on those lips for hours.

Now I just had to get them together. How?

The obvious answer was our phone numbers. Me and Weiss got each other's calls all the time, since we're only one digit apart. It was almost too easy.

But that's when my little angel walked up to me in a red hoodie.

How could the gods be so mean… putting such _purity_ in front of me?! And all I wanted to do was _violate_ her. _Ravish_ her. _Corrupt_ her.

Sometimes I feel so… evil.

Anyway, you guys know what happened next. Yang meets Blake, Blake gives wrong number, yada yada yada. And yes, I teased Ruby a little. I couldn't help it! She was so fucking _cute!_

Especially when she told me her sister stuffed her in the couch. I must have laughed through at least 1000 calories right then. And in return, I showed her my boobs. Yes, another tease. I gotta get her warmed up sooner or later, right?

…

Ruby told you guys about the next day, so I won't bore you with the early details… we'll just skip to the good stuff. And I won't make any promises that I can actually finish the story without taking a break or two to… satisfy myself.

After I sat down in her lap, she _actually_ passed out. I couldn't believe it. Even Mom never got a reaction like _that_. Seriously, how pure could she _be?!_ This was just unfair.

Now, just to be clear, I consider there to be a clear line between sleep molestation and sleep rape. And since Ruby was still for too innocent for her own good, I _did not_ cross that line. I just molested her. :)

First off, I turned around on her lap and buried my face in the crook of her neck. She smelled a bit like roses, actually. It was surprising. I also ran my hands all over her body, checking things like her boob size, waist size, and of course I groped her ass. I also gave her face a slow lick, tasting my angel for the first time.

Hold on a minute…

…

Okay, done. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was molesting Ruby.

But I couldn't go any further. Something about Ruby just… I don't know. I didn't _want_ to keep going.

Taking a shaky breath, I gave her a kiss on the forehead and sat back down on the couch. All I could do was wait and watch. And think.

Growing up in the strip club gave me a healthy (or unhealthy) appreciation of the female form. All through my school years I was the girl who chased the other girls. I was the playboy, the pimp, the womanizer. Using my epic ass (I was an early bloomer) and my natural charm, I could snag the heart of any girl I wanted… but I never took it seriously. It was all just a game to me.

Until I met Ruby. My angel.

When she opened those gorgeous silver eyes of hers and looked at me, I was gone. When I leaned over and kissed her for the first time, my heart was well and truly stolen. I never expected that I might ever feel like this… but you know what? I like it.

…

Settle down, boys. I know what you're really here for.

When we started, Ruby's lack of experience was painfully obvious. All she could do was kiss me while just kinda… flailing around. Eventually I took the lead, trailing heavy kisses down her neck and past the collar of her shirt. That was the first thing I removed. I kept going down her chest, past her navel, and right over her shorts towards one of her smooth legs. Both shoes came off next as I gave her feet some attention, then made my way back up the other leg. I then moved to her back, still laying on the kisses. At long last I returned to her face where I found her completely breathless. Her eyes were starting to glaze over, too.

After some more making out, she started doing the same thing to me. Needless to say, I was more than willing to help. Once I got out of my outer clothes, I flipped her around so Ruby was on top. With clear access, my angel seemed to know just what to do.

Dammit… hold on a sec…

…

…

Whew… that took a bit longer.

Now let me just say that I've had heavy make out sessions with some of those other girls I mentioned, but they were all pretty standard. Ruby, however, was a different beast.

If I tell you absolutely everything we did that night, we'd be here forever. So in summary, I can say that I now know what it feels like to be completely in love. I tasted every part of my angel. Every. Single. Part. I heard every noise she can make. All the words she knows how to scream during her climax – some of which I didn't expect. And I also know how hard she can pull on my hair while I'm going down on her. I'm sure she left a few claw marks on my back, too.

Would you consider it strange that I'm seriously considering getting her name tattooed on my shoulder? Or maybe my thigh? _Damn_ I have it bad.

And I don't care, either. I belong to Ruby Rose.

…

And in my defense, I kinda panicked when Yang and Weiss came in. I know I just professed my undying love, then offered a… a… fucking _foursome?!_

My reputation as a mega-pervert is safe, anyway.

And in case you were wondering, all three of them respectfully declined.

In the end, we all lived… and fucked… happily ever after.

…

...

What?

Why the hell are you still here? Go away.

…

More? What makes you think there's more?

…

Okay, _fine!_ They didn't just respectfully decline. I was fucking put on _trial_ , okay?

Weiss was the worst – somehow she decided I was some kind of traitor. Once she and Yang compared notes, that was it. They knew what I'd done. The two of them actually teamed up in a 'good cop bad cop' act to try and make me feel guilty.

Did I mention I was still naked?

Yeah, really feeling guilty guys. Heh.

God bless that Ruby, though. Even though it was clearly an act, she still jumped to my defense. Yang was more surprised than anyone else at that – she never expected an outburst like that from her own sister.

I will never forget the looks on their faces as Ruby gave them a scolding. Priceless.

I then fessed up and apologized for my scheming. Ruby convinced them to forgive me. This time we actually did kiss and make up.

As in, I did the kissing.

Wow, Weiss… I'm almost jealous. Yang's lips are certainly very, _very_ kissable.

…

And it was all worth it to see Ruby's own look of jealousy. She's so fucking _cute_ when she pouts like that!

Anyway, that's our story. I found a fuck-buddy for my best friend and an angel for myself. Happily ever after.

… … … ...

… …

* * *

 **A/N: And that's the end. Seriously, there's no more. Favorite the thing if you like, leave a review if you're so inclined, but that's it. Bye-bye.**

 **=OwO=**


End file.
